Sports

           Times are tough on Capitol Hill. The federal deficit gets bigger by the day. More and more troops are being sent to Afghanistan and Iraq and for the first time in President Barack Obama’s term, his approval ratings have dropped below the 50 percent line down to 47 percent.

            If I may Mr. President, I’d like to offer some thoughts of sympathy. I understand you’re working hard as a hamster on a wheel and you’ve gotten nowhere fast. It’s a shame that recent surveys show that Americans no longer want your Healthcare bill just after it passed through the Senate. I get it—it takes time for those bailouts to take effect and pull our economy out of recession, yet to ordinary Americans the economic outlook is bleak. Look at yourself; you’ve grayed so much since you took office. Sir, now is not the time to coop yourself up in the Oval Office like a detainee in Guantanamo Bay. Let yourself take a deep breath and take a step back. Why not take the Fist Family out for a night to the happiest place on Earth; where Canadians and Europeans rule and everyone’s wearing red.

            No, I’m not talking about Copenhagen, where protestors line the streets and a solution to cap global emissions is harder to find than Osama Bin Laden. No, I’m not talking about Disney Land. What would the American people think if they saw you take a carefree vacation like that?

            I’m talking about takin a jog down the streets of D.C. till you hit Chinatown and hop in the House that Abe Pollin Built, the Verizon Center, where you’ll find smiling faces and arguably the best team in the NHL, the Washington Capitals.

            I’m sure Ted Leonsis would have no problem with giving you ice-level seats. 917 dollars is just a flash in the pan considering your $50,000 expense account. Plus, Section 107 is where Alex Ovechkin himself slams into the glass after scoring a goal.

            You want political reasons to have a good time—think of all those Hockey Moms! Sarah Palin made Hockey Moms a key demographic when you run for re-election in 2012. And what about the Joe Six-packs? I’m sure all they really want to see is the leader of the free world crack open a nice cold one!

            I forgot to mention the international ramifications of your attendance. How do you think Vladimir Putin will feel when he sees a photo of you Rockin the Red at Verizon Center… Nuclear disarmament just got that much easier.

            Inside Verizon Center it’s a grand old party and no one cares about polotics, yet the minute you step outside after our boys win, your local popularity is bound to rise.